Hairy Halloween Ends In Hapless Horror For What?!

Following the tradition of eerie Halloween weekends, this Sunday was no exception as the unthinkable happened to What?!, a regular season LOSS. The sequence of events and the way the loss came about was just as strange and horrifying as the holiday itself.

  What?!'s Mustache Inspiration

The game started off very well for our group of misfits. Inspired by the world renowned American Mustache Institute mustaches they grew for the holiday, What?! stormed out to a 3 score lead by half time. The most impressive stretch came when the defense made a decisive 4 down goal-line stand right before the half to hold their opponents scoreless.


However, What?! came totally unglued in the second half, similar to the mustaches that wouldn't stay on. On What?!'s first offensive possession of the half, the team drove the ball towards their opponents goal-line before turning the ball over on an interception. The turnover itself wouldn't have been that bad save for the dubious non-call on a block during the return, resulting in the first score for the other team.

Only up by 2 scores, What?! looked to respond. However, on the female play of the following series, What?! learned the true definition of the words "mugged" and "assaulted," as the girls had their personal space violated before a pass could even be attempted. It was so bad that Alison, who is usually quite calm and even keeled, save for that one time last season when she talked about kicking some guy in the nuts after the playoffs, dropped multiple four letter expletives forcing kids around the field to use their earmuffs, and proceeded to slug (or maybe slap, affectionately, with love) the guy playing defense on her. The ref, stunned by this course of action, forgot to call the police about the pass interference, and proceeded to award a safety to What?!'s opponent, giving them the ball as well.

At this point, the team knew that they had to dig deep and come up with a momentum changing play. Of course, it came, in the form of an interception by Lance who had clear daylight for a touchdown. Yet, inexplicably, the whistle blew during the return and play blown dead. Even more surprising, the ball was awarded back to What?!'s opponent for reasons unknown.

Shocked and demoralized by these dramatic turn of events, What?! never recovered, as the defense proceeded to give up 2 more scores in the half, allowing their opponents to take the lead, and eventually the win. In between those scores, What?! did have several bright spots, including an interception by Alison, as well as two interceptions by Eric A and Lance that were, again, OVERTURNED, by extremely LATE whistles. All in all, any effort we put into creating a comeback was hexed by a certain witchdoctor who carried a whistle.

Perhaps, the only upside to this loss is that it's a wake-up call for the team to take the games more seriously as we go into the playoffs. Certainly, there will be no letting up in the last regular season game this weekend. What?! will look to score 60 plus in a shutout of the weakest team in the league.

Scary results, but not as scary as this man's hair or his ability to crush home runs against the Yankees.

PLAY OF THE GAME: Tie, Elaina's attempt to pancake block the defenders even though it negated a big catch and run by Matt along with Alison's inspirational outburst.
PLAYER OF THE GAME: Ronny, for his overall performance on both sides of the ball playing with a "injured shin"