Wikileaked

From Randy Bish, Pittsburgh, PA’s the Tribune-Review.

Losing Streak Hits Two as What?! Rues Missed Opportunities

The team started poorly, as What?! gave up a quick touchdown and a turnover to fall 2 scores behind. It was then followed by a scores by both teams, which made it 17-6 by halftime.

While playing 1 person down, the team stayed resilient and never got too down on itself. In the 2nd half, What?! clawed back within 5 points to a 25-20 deficit. The defense made several key stops and the offense strung together several long drives.

However, due to not being able to take advantage of turnover opportunities and missed big play chances on offense, it was as close as the team would get. Eventually, What?! was overwhelmed by their opponent's superior numbers and succumbed to a 38-20 defeat.

Although burdened with its 2nd consecutive loss, the team's defensive performance this past Sunday was remarkably better. The key now is to get a full strength team on the field and play up to the standards the team is capable of. There aren't too many weeks left in the season and What?! definitely faces an uphill battle to turn their season around.

PLAY OF THE GAME: Eric S's tippy toe touchdown grab at the edge of the endzone and Chris's behind the back extra point attempt that almost worked
PLAYER OF THE GAME: Eric S for his big game on offense

What?! Crashes and Burns

Question.

Is it possible to lose a game in which you dominate time of possession, throw 60 plus passes, score 6 touchdowns, and convert 3 2-point conversions?

No effing way Yes, you certainly can.

How?

By playing with your arms tied behind your back and your legs tied to a flagpole. By giving up one play touchdown drives to your opponent all game.

Not much to say except that it was perhaps the team's worst performance in franchise history. Aside from the defensive futility, it was the most frustrating game I've ever played in. The team simply did not play like a team and were too focused on things that we shouldn't have. The brain-trust will undoubtedly regroup during the week to figure out how to correct this. Next week will be a pivotal one for the team and we shall see how the team bounces back from this.

If all else fails, a little dose of Mike Singletary ass-kicking might be needed (hopefully not).




PLAY OF THE GAME: Chris's catch and run after losing his glasses
PLAYER OF THE GAME: PJ for keeping us in the game

Game 1

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Season Tuneup

After a summer break for the team (save the few who decided to go and win some other random championship), team What?! reconvened this past Sunday for their fall season tune-up. However, due to birthdays, vacations, and shitty weather several contract hold-outs, only the minimum number from the team were available to take on this challenge. Nevertheless, faced the obstacle they did.

In the 1st half, the offense, led by Matt at QB, dominated possession and scoring. Eric A and Veronica, along with the wily veteran Eric S captured a good chunk of the receptions. Also chipping in on offense was April's passing on girl plays and the team's newest import, Derek, from the Kamikawa Cranes of the JFL (Japanese Football League), catching his 1st scoring reception.

Meanwhile, the defense completely shut down their opponents, as it generated multiple turnovers via interceptions by Eric A and Derek. In addition, Amanda, April, and Veronica combined to completely shut down and dominate the other team's short passing game. As a result, What?! went into the half with a commanding 20 to 6 lead.

The 2nd half opened with a turnover by What?! on a deep throw via a Matt to Derek to Eric A option play that almost worked. Undaunted, the team proceeded to get the ball back immediately by intercepting their opponent's following pass. With momentum on their side again, Derek took over the QB duties and showcased his legendary Favre comparisons in running the offense, displaying his touch and precision on many passes. And thus, the 2nd half pretty much went the same as the first, with the offense rolling and the defense suffocating their opponents. Ultimately, via several more nifty scores from Derek to Felix and April, the team wound up with a 36 to 12 victory.

PLAY OF THE GAME: The super awesome option pass
PLAYER OF THE GAME: Matt and April, for their superb offensive display.

Playoffs

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Game 1

 Game 2

Final Week

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Game 1

 Game 2

Game 3

 Game 4

  

Results

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Game 1

 Game 2

Week 8

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Game 1

 Game 2

Week 8

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Game 1

Game 2

Week 7

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Game 1

Game 2

Week 6

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Game 1

Game 2

Week 5

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Game 1

Game 2

Week 4

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Game 1

Game 2

What?! Continues Offensive Futility

Another gorgeous Sunday afternoon, and another feeble showing from What?!. The team was only able to score 8 runs on the day, with half of that coming in the last inning of the day. That by itself might have been okay if the team had pitched perfect games. But the moons did not align, and two more losses were added onto the team's record for the season.

In game 1, the team only managed two hits, 2 measly singles via Lance and Eric S. As Matt T tried to keep the team in the game with a valiant pitching effort, the lack of offense in addition to a sieve like defense threw away any chance of a win.

In the 2nd game, What?! stayed in the ballgame for the most part. It remained a tied game at two a piece until the 6th inning, when starting pitcher Felix lost the zone with 2 outs and walked a bunch of runs in. Matt F came in relief and was unable to douse the fire until a couple more runs were scored. Ultimately, these runs proved too much to overcome even as the team tried to mount a mini-comeback in the top of the 7th.

On the day, John and Ryan continued to be the most consistent offensive threats for the team, chipping in with 3 and 2 hits respectively. The only extra base hits came from Eric S and Felix, who each launched RBI triples. Other  notable contributions came from Matt F, who had 2 hits, Janine, who drive in 3 of the team's runs, and Tara, who got her first hit and RBI of the season.

With the Mother's Day bye week, hopefully the team has a chance to clear their heads and get back to winning softball.

What?! Sneaks Into Playoffs

With their first win over Hot Route in team history, What?! was able to clinch the highly sought after #5 seed to make it into the playoffs.

On offense, Brad ran point, and directed TD's to Alex, Bekim, and Matt, along with a 2 point conversion to Eric A. Matt, Alex, and Eric A also helped pace the team in catches, while April and Veronica chipped in with a couple of their own. All 20 points came in the 1st half as turnovers hurt the chances for scoring in the 2nd half.

On defense, Eric A was able to rack up 3 interceptions despite dropping 3 other potential picks (haha). Lance held down the middle of the defense and prevented Hot Route from running their favorite offensive play. Meanwhile, Janine harassed the QB all game, and helped keep Hot Route's high octane offense from getting in a rthymn.

Of course, Hot Route playing down 2 players for 15 minutes and the 80 degree heat must have helped. But only slightly, of course.

PLAY OF THE GAME: Brad's TD pass to Bekim along with Eric A's interceptions.
PLAYER OF THE GAME: Eric A

Week 3

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Game 1

Game 2

Game 7

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Still Alive!

The rain and cold weather this past Sunday failed to deter What?! from showing up at the field, 5, and later 7, members of the team at least.

Even though they were outnumbered, What?!'s defense was able to stuff their opponent's opening drive, with April getting her 1st of 2 interceptions on the day. The offense capitalized immediately, with Matt throwing a TD pass to Felix, and then converting the 2 point conversion via a run.

After giving up a TD on their opponent's next drive, reinforcements arrived in the form of Alison, who promptly scored on a long catch and run, putting What?! ahead 14-6. This lead lasted into halftime, as the defense stymied the opposition, via another interception by April and an end-zone pick by Felix.

In the 2nd half, What?! blew the game wide open, though in a unique fashion.

After an acrobatic interception from Alison, Felix, who paced the team in catches, converted a trick play, taking the snap and throwing to a wide open Matt in the end zone.

Immediately following, 14 points came in a span of 30 seconds, as Ronny picked off consecutive passes and ran them both back for touchdowns, with Tara chipping in on a 2 point conversion.

And with that barrage of scoring, the game was essentially won, with additional interceptions coming from Matt and Felix. What?!'s opponents were disheveled and demoralized, and could not manage much of anything else save a garbage time TD.

This was an important victory, as it keeps the team's playoff hopes alive. With a win this upcoming Sunday, What?! would essentially guarantee themselves a playoff spot. Look forward to the big day this weekend!

What?! The Heck(scher)

What?! softball had a tough Sunday as well.

Without going into the details of both games, essentially, the team played some sloppy defense and could not hit. While some might attribute it to the chilly weather and early 11am game-time, the team was simply not prepared to play a team that will be among the top seeds in the playoffs. In fact, the team even got shutout in the 1st game of the doubleheader.

All that aside, some of the better performances of the day included Purvi and Erin who chipped in with multiple hits, Eric S who scored 2 more runs to build the case keeping him at the top of the order, Matt T who drove in 4 runs in the 2nd game, and John who got another extra base hit. Also, credit Tara for a good pitching performance and Ashley for throwing too hard.

Going into the 3rd week, the team will look to rebound by solidifying the defense and putting work in on offense. Time to start playing some winning softball!

What?! Fumbles Another Game

Another rough Sunday for team What?! saw their record drop to 2-3.

The game began with no stat sheet and What?! short on guys. Nevertheless, the team managed to respond to giving up an opening drive TD by marching down the field, scoring, and converting a 2 point conversion via passes from Brad to Bekim and Alex to take a 8-7 lead. However, things from downhill from there.

After giving up another score, the offense managed to take the ball down to their opponent's red zone before stalling on a 4th and goal from the 1. Even after a Bekim pick, the team was unable to capitalize, and gave up another score to go into the half, down 19-8.

A side-note at this point, apparently before the half, a hail-mary pass from the other team led to the most horrific injury witnessed by anyone on the team. Rumors had twisted knee, popped tendons, blood gushing at the scene (okay, maybe not all three).

The offense was able to pull back 1 score starting the 2nd half. But the defense was unable to come up with any stops, allowing their opponent to dominate time of possession. Ultimately, this cost What?! the game, and put the team's playoff hopes in jeopardy.

Softball Week 2

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Game 1

Game 2

What?! Softball Opens Season With Split

What?! Overcomes "Phantom Run" to Take Game 1

On a nice 70 degree afternoon at Central Park, What?! kicked off its summer softball season on the Heckscher lawn. While game time was set originally for 4 o'clock, first pitch did not actually occur until about a hour later due to previous games running late. The team took advantage of the extra time productively, as they ran suicides and discussed strategy laid on the soft grass and ate sunflower seeds while debating whether there was life on planets other than Earth.

When it was time to start the game, What?! took the field in the top of the 1st as they won the lucky coin dime toss to become the home team. Immediately, What?! showed its rust as the team gave up two runs via several walks and a hit before getting out of the jam. In the bottom of the inning, however, What?! led off the inning with singles from Eric S and Purvi. After taking 3rd on a Dave C flyout, Eric S was able to score on a Matt T groundout to cut the lead by half.

The deficit was short-lived as in the next turn at bat, after inducing their opponents into a 1-2-3 inning, John crushed the first pitch he saw of the season into right center for a home-run to tie the game at two a piece.

Losing Streak Ends!

Finally, something to celebrate as the team broke out of its mini 2 game losing streak. Not only does it feel good to win, but also to win by more than a extra point or two.

According to those in attendance, the team got big performances from several players. Lance had a huge defensive game, while chipping in on offense with a TD catch on a nice come-backer in the end-zone. Eric A had a huge game, coming up with 2 picks, while pacing the offense, including a splendid TD grab where it looked like he caught the ball "while being punched in the chest." April threw a catch and run TD to Matt as well.

On defense, Alja and Ronny had big games while Bekim's pick towards the end of the game helped seal the victory. Of course, it also helped that our opponent's QB didn't play well. In the words of one of players, he "could only throw like 15 yards...like a step below Matt, basically." (Note, let's focus on the description of the opposition QB, since there's clearly a amongst our ranks.)

The team has 3 weeks left in the regular season and it's imperative that they try and win at least 2 of those games in order to secure a spot in the playoffs. It will certainly be a interesting show down the stretch.

PLAY OF THE GAME: April's TD pass to Matt
PLAYER OF THE GAME: Eric A, for a big TD catch and 2 interceptions on defense

Softball Game 1 and Game 2

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Game 1

Game 2

Game 4

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Extra Point (Fail) Streak Hits 8

Due to extraordinary failure by What?!'s "special team," this marks the 2nd game in a row that the team scored the same amount of TD's as their opponents but yet lost the game.

"I heard Jason Elam just retired from the NFL, so we might think about bringing him aboard, especially if he fits within the team salary cap structure." Eric A said, when asked about the team's inability to convert extra points. "But I would still be the team's All-Pro kicker/punter," as he backed that statement up with his 2 punts, downing one at the 1 yard-line, while being robbed of a 65 yard punt due to the field only being 53 yards long.

Aside from the inability to score extra points, What?! played a good game for the most part. Offense moved the ball efficiently, except for 1 failed 4th down conversion and 1 key turnover towards the end of the game. The defense played well and got back on track, holding their opponents to 2 scores while generating 3 turnovers, including 1 in the red zone. In fact, What?! held the lead for most of the game. It was unfortunate that the lead, and eventually the game, came down to an extra point conversion.

The other notable news was that the team is now fully equipped in their new handsome teamshirts, which should undoubtably help turn their losing streak around. Right guys?

PLAY OF THE GAME: Felix's bat down in the end zone, times two, and Eric A's coffin corner punt.
PLAYER OF THE GAME: Lance and Brad tied, as they both stepped up big time on both offense and defense.

Game 3

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What?! Happened?

Sunday was a tough day for the team. Not just because the team lost, or that they lost a very close game, or that they could and should have won, but because theye lost to Team With One Major Douchebag an opponent so early in the season.

In a game decided by extra points, What?!'s ineptitude in converting those doomed them. That, as well as the slumping defense giving up 6 touchdowns. And while the offense put up tons of points and seemed to remedy its drop issues for the most part, inopportune turnovers and 1 big drop in the end-zone still hurt. Failure can also be partly attributed to the lack of adjustments made from the coach, who was too busy trying to bundle up and stay unsick warm instead of paying attention to the game (failed in that regard too as he had to call out of work the next day).

But for those for played, the biggest sticking point in their memory was that of the big douchebag on the other team who tried to perfect his failed sportsmanship by refusing to get the ball and bring it back to the the line of scrimmage. It was even more awkward for his teammates since they didn't know what to do with him yelling at them not to do so either. Clearly someone who fails at life sportsmanship and has no knowledge of the delay of game penalty.

"The only reason I signed on to play was to beat ginger douches like this guy. It's very disappointing to let him get away for a week feeling happy, after winning a meaningless Zog football game," said Lance in a post game interview. "It's a shame, and a travesty of the game for this to happen. If we square off again, they best be ready for some payback," added Bekim.

Eric A also had this to add about the game, "A very interesting stat to note, we've never won a game without a completion to me." A "random observation" of course.

PLAY OF THE GAME: Lance's diving/flying/in the air TD grab.
PLAYER OF THE GAME: Brad, for his offense/defense performance (even though he would have gotten a bunch more catches/TD's if he got the ball all the times he ran free on the right sideline)

P.S. hiring someone to do recaps and on-field stats on a temporary basis for the next 4 weeks. Must be able to count from 1 to 70, forwards and backwards. Pay compromises of peanuts, chance to make fun of team/opponents in public space known as the internet, and promise of eternal fame. Interested parties should let me know.

Game 2

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Clash of the Reds

Only days after the team records were posted online, What?! went onto the field in a battle with their undermanned rivals in maroon, and demolished several of those said records, including most points and most 2pt conversions for a game. Given the suspect timing for this performance, to call What?! a bunch of stat whores would be a major understatement.

The offense was firing on all cylinders, completing 60% of passes despite the continued drop barrage from the team. As Brad had noted, everyone on the team had at least 1 catch, with 6 different receivers catching TD's and 9 players scoring points. The defense got back on track as well, generating 4 turnovers, including a pick 6.

The game did have its blemishes in the form of several missed TD and extra point conversions while the defense allowed their opponents to score towards the end of the game. However, for the most part, it was a magnificent effort, and one that What?! hopes to emulate every game going forward.

And while the schedule only gets tougher from here on out, the team will savor this well deserved victory in conjunction with St. Patty's week of celebration. Cheers!

PLAY OF THE GAME: Bekim's pick 6 tied with Alja's catch-and-taunt-and-then-score.
PLAYER OF THE GAME: Matt, only because no one's ever thrown so many TD's before.

Side note, Happy Birthday Alison!

Game 1

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Fabulous Week of Album Releases

New albums out from Lifehouse and Sanctus Real. They're awesome, so go check them out!

Sanctus Real - Pieces of a Real Heart

Lifehouse - Smokes and Mirrors

Monday Morning Chit Chat

Regarding our football stat categories

Anonymous: What about a +/- while on the field? like hockey

Me:  That's hard to keep

Anonymous: nm

Me: since we swap in and out

Anonymous:  matt's would be too high
 

Posted at Anonymous's request. Nothing but love Matt.

Scrimmage!

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Since it's a scrimmage, I'll just do a short bullet-point recap:

• Team apparently wants to change name to Hands of Butter with 7 drops. Either that, or they're protesting Bekim at QB.
• Janine made a nice TD grab at the corner of the end zone, as did Bekim with a toe tap, and Eric A on a jump ball (although he is on a dropsie streak as well, see previous games).
• No one can cover Lance on slants and drags over the middle.
• Alja was all over the field on defense with 4 tackles.
• Veronica had a perfectly timed pass breakup as Ronny paced the team with passes defended.
• Defense is now in a 2 game slump.