Wikileaked

From Randy Bish, Pittsburgh, PA’s the Tribune-Review.

This Deserves A Post By Itself

I had a bunch of Canadian dollars I needed to exchange, so I went to
the currency exchange window at the local bank.

Short line.

Just one lady in front of me . . . an Asian lady who was trying to
exchange yen for dollars and she was a little irritated...

She asked the teller, "Why it change?? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla fo yen. Today I get hunat eighty?? Why it change?"

The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations".

The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people, too!"

Harry Potter

Given the fact that I'm going to see the new Harry Potter movie this Friday (tickets confirmed by Eric) and yet have zero knowledge of this whole story, I'm trying to catch up on the previous 5 movies so I will only ask 27% the number of stupid questions about wizards that I would have otherwise. I will update this post throughout the week as I go through each movie with the stupid questions and thoughts I have. Contains spoilers so don't read if you intend to watch it or care.

Harry Potter and The Sorcerer's Stone - Completed 7/13


- It's really creepy seeing Daniel Radcliff (and his co-actors) as a kid. I mean, he just did some Broadway show or something nude... Harry Potter, naked, on Broadway, ugh, what the eff...

- Is it just me or is the magic wand shopkeeper a Lord of the Rings hobbit?

- Can normal people not see these kids run and disappear into a wall at platform 9 and 3/4?

- What's the point of quidditch if you can just win by capturing the golden snitch? Eric gave me the actual rules of the game since it was explained incorrectly in the movie. Apparently, Eric's knowledge came from being the rule interpreter for the W&M quidditch team. He also kept the team Nimbus 2000's in tip top shape.

- Is Harry Potter really a jock? Since he's the only "freshman" to make the quidditch team as "seeker/QB"? no less.

- What the heck is up with the random unicorn vampire scene? Was that really necessary?

- Was it just me or is that two faced professor/evil wizard at the end pretty damn scary? I almost pooped my pants when the back of his head turned into a face.

- Where are the Asians in the movie?

Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets - Completed 7/14


- English accents are pretty cool in general, but I think I might shoot myself at the end of watching all these movies.

- An elf? or is it just Golem?

- I realize that trees might not like greenhouse gases but I didn't know that it hated cars THAT much.

- The mandrake baby scene is disturbing as hell.

- I wish we could send "howlers" in real life, haha.

- Puking slugs, appetizing.

- Why are there so many similarities between Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings? Whispering voice? Sauron?

- Flying through the quidditch field ramparts reminds me of Star Wars and Luke flying on the surface of the Death Star.

- Skele-grow, is that just steroids in Harry Potter world?

- No snakes on a plane, but snake in a tunnel!

- Which Petco has one of those superbirds for sale?

Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban - Completed 7/15


- Is it just me or are the movies getting less humorous and more serious and dark?

- Loss of limp will not excuse one from homework, CRAP.

- I'm so confused why the dementors are all chasing Potter.

- The twins are hilarious.

- Harry seriously resembles Anakin Skywalker in this one, full of rage.

- Oooo, time travel.

Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire - Completed 7/16



- Ron looks more like a tool the older he gets.

- Quidditch World Cup and still no Asians.

- Dancing fireworks would be pretty ill.

- Finally, Asian sighted.

- Wtf is up with the entrance scene for the girls magic prep school?

- Why do "they" travel in packs? hahaha

- "Moral fiber" in Harry Potter, the hell?

- That's some disturbing image/scene towards the end...

Harry Potter and The Order of the Phoenix - Completed 7/16


- Woah, English wankstas. When did the story get contemporized?

- Why does Voldemort not have a nose?

- Why is this Potter romance thing necessary? So dumb. Thank god for fast forward.

- Random centaurs...

- World War 3 of magic

- This is totally Star Wars...without wookies and storm troopers...and spaceships...magic wands instead of light sabers.



Finally, all previous movies completed. On to tomorrow for the new one.

Derek's Gift

I was somewhat surprised when Derek told us last week that he got all of us gifts from Japan. I thought to myself, what kind of gift could Derek have possibly have gotten us? As it turns out, one glance at my gift and the connection was instantaneous. It was magical.


The Humping Dog, USB meets Love. I mean, just the name itself exudes awesomeness. Plus, it was a useable USB drive! I proceeded to take a look a the back of the package.

Although I am totally illiterate in Japanese (surprising I know), I did recognize some characters on the top right corner of the package. The characters zoomed in is below.

Essentially, what this translated to was that the item is aimed at people aged 15 and up. A gift with a age warning is obviously a perfect gift for me.

Fumbling around in a rush to open the package, I was eagerly anticipating the awesomeness of plugging it in. (That's what she said) And behold, when all was said and done, it did not disappoint.




Derek, thanks for the gift buddy. Can't imagine you staying in Japan for ANOTHER year but I guess it's happening since you are leaving on a flight, TODAY. Hopefully, over the next year, you'll decide to come back instead of staying in Japan for the long haul. Either way, I'll try to get out there and visit.

A side note, Eric wound up getting a robotic dog that danced to different music and JD got a mechanical beetle that knows to change direction, pretty sweet stuff.