Monday, July 27, 2009

This Deserves A Post By Itself

I had a bunch of Canadian dollars I needed to exchange, so I went to
the currency exchange window at the local bank.

Short line.

Just one lady in front of me . . . an Asian lady who was trying to
exchange yen for dollars and she was a little irritated...

She asked the teller, "Why it change?? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla fo yen. Today I get hunat eighty?? Why it change?"

The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations".

The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people, too!"

Monday, July 20, 2009

2 Years!


Friday marked the end of my first two years working full time. Over the course of this time, I've learned many truisms, some of which I am sharing below:

- If you have trouble making friends at work, try bringing candy and chocolate. It's no different than witches luring little children. It's so easy.

- The number of unread emails in your inbox is a sign of your importance to the organization. In my case, i try to compensate by sending emails to myself, lots of them.

- Listening to music at work is a borderline behavior. Passed out while listening to music is a big no-no, especially if you're an intern trying to land a full time offer.

- Companies love to keep things simple. It's a very important goal for any company. In fact, we have a 50 page PowerPoint presentation explaining why we need to do so.

- The office is to copiers/printers what churches are to Jesus Christ. You will learn everything you ever wanted to learn about the latter in the former. You will commit to memory and by rote, how to clear jams anywhere from section a to double z of the machine. It just might take a hour or two but people will see how hard you're working and how productive your are. You KNOW it's a good day when you've refilled that LAN copier next to you with paper 5 times, cleared 13 paper jams, filled up the staple cartridge, taught 11 people how to print/copy in color and to collate (since for some smart reason, it doesn't automatically collate 100 page presentations), AND reordered 3 color print cartridges since it won't print in black and white if the yellow color cartridge is empty.

- If your workspace and computer is very clean and you don't have food crumbs all over, then you just aren't working hard enough.

- For every performance review, you will ALWAYS discover NEW strengths and weaknesses. At the same time, you wonder how you can stretch out the company's limited list of strengths and weaknesses for the next 10 reviews...

- You learn many things about your co-worker at work. For example, you learn about one's eating habits, and whether someone had the taco special for dinner last night or the sloppy joe during lunch. Sometimes, the air just doesn't circulate.

- Given the fact that one can only visit the company store so many times each day, the bathroom and pantry is your refuge. It's definitely not as awkward being caught there versus the break room with massage chair, 60 inch TV, and Wii.

- Lastly, if something makes logical sense, then you probably should NOT do it. It's the way the REAL business world works, not like the rubbish you read in textbooks.

Monday, July 13, 2009

Harry Potter

Given the fact that I'm going to see the new Harry Potter movie this Friday (tickets confirmed by Eric) and yet have zero knowledge of this whole story, I'm trying to catch up on the previous 5 movies so I will only ask 27% the number of stupid questions about wizards that I would have otherwise. I will update this post throughout the week as I go through each movie with the stupid questions and thoughts I have. Contains spoilers so don't read if you intend to watch it or care.

Harry Potter and The Sorcerer's Stone - Completed 7/13


- It's really creepy seeing Daniel Radcliff (and his co-actors) as a kid. I mean, he just did some Broadway show or something nude... Harry Potter, naked, on Broadway, ugh, what the eff...

- Is it just me or is the magic wand shopkeeper a Lord of the Rings hobbit?

- Can normal people not see these kids run and disappear into a wall at platform 9 and 3/4?

- What's the point of quidditch if you can just win by capturing the golden snitch? Eric gave me the actual rules of the game since it was explained incorrectly in the movie. Apparently, Eric's knowledge came from being the rule interpreter for the W&M quidditch team. He also kept the team Nimbus 2000's in tip top shape.

- Is Harry Potter really a jock? Since he's the only "freshman" to make the quidditch team as "seeker/QB"? no less.

- What the heck is up with the random unicorn vampire scene? Was that really necessary?

- Was it just me or is that two faced professor/evil wizard at the end pretty damn scary? I almost pooped my pants when the back of his head turned into a face.

- Where are the Asians in the movie?

Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets
- Completed 7/14


- English accents are pretty cool in general, but I think I might shoot myself at the end of watching all these movies.

- An elf? or is it just Golem?

- I realize that trees might not like greenhouse gases but I didn't know that it hated cars THAT much.

- The mandrake baby scene is disturbing as hell.

- I wish we could send "howlers" in real life, haha.

- Puking slugs, appetizing.

- Why are there so many similarities between Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings? Whispering voice? Sauron?

- Flying through the quidditch field ramparts reminds me of Star Wars and Luke flying on the surface of the Death Star.

- Skele-grow, is that just steroids in Harry Potter world?

- No snakes on a plane, but snake in a tunnel!

- Which Petco has one of those superbirds for sale?

Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban - Completed 7/15


- Is it just me or are the movies getting less humorous and more serious and dark?

- Loss of limp will not excuse one from homework, CRAP.

- I'm so confused why the dementors are all chasing Potter.

- The twins are hilarious.

- Harry seriously resembles Anakin Skywalker in this one, full of rage.

- Oooo, time travel.

Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire - Completed 7/16



- Ron looks more like a tool the older he gets.

- Quidditch World Cup and still no Asians.

- Dancing fireworks would be pretty ill.

- Finally, Asian sighted.

- Wtf is up with the entrance scene for the girls magic prep school?

- Why do "they" travel in packs? hahaha

- "Moral fiber" in Harry Potter, the hell?

- That's some disturbing image/scene towards the end...

Harry Potter and The Order of the Phoenix - Completed 7/16


- Woah, English wankstas. When did the story get contemporized?

- Why does Voldemort not have a nose?

- Why is this Potter romance thing necessary? So dumb. Thank god for fast forward.

- Random centaurs...

- World War 3 of magic

- This is totally Star Wars...without wookies and storm troopers...and spaceships...magic wands instead of light sabers.



Finally, all previous movies completed. On to tomorrow for the new one.

Saturday, July 4, 2009

1st Book Review

Given that it's July 4th and it's a day full of patriotism across the country, I figure it would only be appropriate that my first book review post be posted today given the subject of one of the books

Just want to give a little background before I start. I recently starting reading books again. Not that I didn't read through college, but reading for class is definitely a lot different than reading for fun. (I blame "Writing The Essay," worst piece of crap class ever) I definitely missed the plots and storytelling aspects of books versus magazines. Magazines and news articles, for the most part, lack that ability to captivate you and make you unable to "drop it." It's amazing how many pages of a book one can read in by using every spare minute of the work day, fully utilizing those toilet-breaks and all. Just kidding.

Anyways, back to the topic.

Liar's Poker by Michael Lewis

Yes, I know I'm only a couple years late reading this book but so what? Perhaps, because of this, I didn't find this book to be the magical read that so many people claim it is. Sure, it relates directly to the current news we hear daily about Wall Street and the financial system. And I can see how it can how a "wow" factor for someone unfamiliar with the finance world such as high schoolers or college freshman. But at this point, I found the book a little mundane, as I read about things that someone could learn by watching Boiler Room. What makes this book even less fascinating and impactful in my mind is the fact that so many Wall Streeters have read this book but clearly have not gained or learned anything from it. Instead of helping to refocus people on the idiocy of many Wall Street practices, it may very well have helped to propagate it. 2 out of 5 stars.

Lone Survivor by Marcus Luttrell

Some people might be turned off by the relatively conservative and republican viewpoint of the author, but this book about the survival of a Navy Seal in the mountains of Afghanistan is a fantastic and captivating read. The author's viewpoint of the current war, media, and rules of war/engagement is directly influenced by the story that he tells. If you take that into consideration, it is easy to see why his views are so extreme. The book not only talks about the dedication and courage of the nation's military elite, but also tells a story of sacrifice, "teamship," and family. In addition, it explores some of the dualities that exists in the asymmetrical conflicts of modern day. Lastly, the complex relationship between the sense of team, tribe/clan, family, and nation is prevalent throughout as well. All in all, the story boils down to something much simpler than politics. It is a tribute to those who have given up so much. 5 out of 5 stars. (Related)


"My loyalty to country and team is beyond reproach. I humbly serve as a guardian to my fellow Americans, always ready to defend those who are unable to defend themselves. I do not advertise the nature of my work, nor seek recognition for my actions. I voluntarily accept the inherent hazards of my profession, placing the welfare and security of others before my own. I serve with honor on and off the battlefield. The ability to control my emotions and my actions, regardless of circumstance, sets me apart from other men. ... In the absence of orders I will take charge, lead my teammates and accomplish the mission. ... I will never quit. I persevere and thrive on adversity. My nation expects me to be physically harder and mentally stronger than my enemies. If knocked down, I will get back up, every time. I will draw on every remaining ounce of strength to protect my teammates and to accomplish our mission. I am never out of the fight."

First book review post is done, got a couple more to put up in the upcoming weeks. Stay tuned. Happy 4th.